google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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