We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
