Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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