Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
