I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's the barista slut.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
