Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
