That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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