He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
