I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize