What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
