YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize