so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
