your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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