He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
