I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
