At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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