He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
