Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
