I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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