It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
