so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize