their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
