D3 body, D1 cock
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
