I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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