Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize