Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
