Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
