Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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