how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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