I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize