You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When are your genitals available?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
