big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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