Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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