I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize