i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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