I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
