Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
