Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
