brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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