Will you blow on my dice?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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