You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize