Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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