I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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