I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
