OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
