Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
