No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
