Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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