trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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