I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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