I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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