So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
