Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize