her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
