just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
