No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
