i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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