what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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