What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I've blown a few things in my day
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
