How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this beer tastes like vomit already
im six kinds of drunk right now
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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