the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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