Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
