I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
