Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
