Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
