when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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