what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
nutella sex= disaster
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
