so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize