I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
