I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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