told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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