I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
