in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i need some magic done to my vagina
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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