how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
