Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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