the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
