The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
