The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
