SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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